Bringing up sexual or reproductive health concerns with a doctor or nurse can feel uncomfortable, but it’s an essential part of maintaining overall well-being. Sexual health impacts both body and mind—conditions like untreated sexually transmitted infections (STIs) may cause chronic pain, infertility, or pregnancy complications, while hormonal imbalances can influence mood, sleep, and energy levels.
Even concerns such as pain during sex or performance anxiety can affect mental health and relationships if left unaddressed. Healthcare professionals are trained to discuss these topics without judgment, and many patients share similar worries. By preparing for these conversations, you can better express your needs, receive accurate care, and feel empowered in managing your sexual and reproductive health.
Read More: Medicare Part C vs. Part D: What You Need to Know
Decide What You Want to Talk About
Before your appointment, take some time to identify the topics you’d like to address. These may include:
- Hormonal and nonhormonal birth control options
- Emergency contraception
- STI risk, testing, and prevention strategies
- Low libido, decreased sensation, or other changes in sexual function
- Fertility testing and preconception planning
- Irregular or infrequent menstruation
- Gender-affirming or menopausal hormone therapy
- Ending a pregnancy through medication or procedural abortion
- Safety concerns such as intimate partner violence
Writing down your symptoms, questions, and goals in advance—whether on your phone or a piece of paper—can help you feel more prepared and ensure nothing important gets overlooked, even if nerves arise.
Ease Into the Conversation
It’s natural to hope your healthcare provider will bring up sensitive topics first, but waiting can sometimes delay the care you need. Remember, doctors and nurses aren’t mind readers—guiding the conversation ensures your concerns are addressed promptly.
You might start with phrases like:
- “I’ve been meaning to ask about something related to my sex life.”
- “I’ve noticed changes in my cycle and want to make sure everything is okay.”
- “I’m considering becoming pregnant and would like to talk about planning.”
Use Clear, Specific Language
Choose words that feel comfortable—whether medical terms or plain language. What matters most is clarity. For instance, instead of saying “something feels off down there,” try:
- “It hurts when my partner fingers me.”
- “It stings when I pee.”
Being direct may feel awkward at first, but it helps your provider quickly understand your situation and recommend the right care.
Be Ready to Answer Questions
To give you the best care, your healthcare professional needs an accurate picture of your sexual and reproductive health. This may include details about your sexual activity, safety, or past experiences.
You can expect questions such as:
- Do you engage in solo or partnered sexual activity?
- What types of sex have you had (e.g., penis-in-vagina, penis-in-anus, vulva-on-vulva)?
- Do you use protection during sex, such as condoms or dental dams?
- Have you experienced any pregnancies or sexually transmitted infections (STIs)?
- Are you dealing with pain, discomfort, or changes in your body?
- What is your menstrual cycle like—regular, irregular, or infrequent?
- Are you planning a pregnancy now or in the future?
These questions are not meant to judge or invade your privacy, but to help guide safe, effective care. Answer as honestly as you feel comfortable. If a question feels too personal, you can respond with, “I’m not comfortable discussing that right now,” or ask, “Can we focus on this topic first?”
It’s also useful to share lifestyle factors—like stress, sleep, diet, or exercise—that may affect your sexual and reproductive health.
Take Notes and Ask for Clarification
While many providers give an after-visit summary through a patient portal or on paper, these documents don’t always capture everything discussed. Taking your own notes can help you remember key points, follow instructions correctly, and track any next steps.
If you’re worried about forgetting details, ask if you can record the conversation on your phone. This can be useful for reviewing later or sharing with a partner if you choose.
Don’t hesitate to speak up if your provider uses medical jargon or something doesn’t make sense. You have the right to clear, respectful communication, and asking for clarification ensures you fully understand your care and feel confident moving forward.
Know When to Follow Up and Who to Speak With
Sometimes, your healthcare professional may not have the specific expertise to fully address a sexual or reproductive concern. For example, a primary care physician may not be familiar with the nuances of in vitro fertilization (IVF) or other assisted reproductive technologies—but they can often provide referrals.
Depending on your needs, you might benefit from seeing a specialist, such as:
- OB-GYN
- Urologist
- Pelvic floor therapist
- Sex therapist
- Mental health professional
Health conversations don’t always end with a single visit. If you forget to ask something or new concerns arise, reach out between appointments or bring it up at your next check-in.
Remember: You Deserve Respectful, Compassionate Care
Your healthcare professional should treat you with respect throughout your visit, including:
- Listening without judgment
- Using affirming language
- Asking for and using your correct pronouns
- Explaining the purpose of tests or exams
- Creating a safe, supportive environment
If any part of your experience feels disrespectful—even interactions with front desk staff—bring it up during your appointment or report it to the clinic’s patient advocate or office manager.
If your concerns aren’t being taken seriously, ask your provider to document that you reported the symptoms and their decision regarding treatment. This ensures your concerns are formally acknowledged.
If you continue to feel dismissed or uncomfortable, consider finding a new provider. While switching can feel inconvenient, having someone you trust and feel safe with is essential. You can request your previous provider send your medical records to the new one to avoid starting from scratch.
Frequently Asked Qestions
What if I feel embarrassed discussing sexual health?
It’s normal to feel nervous, but healthcare providers are trained to handle these topics professionally and without judgment. Preparing questions in advance can help ease anxiety.
Do I have to answer every question?
No. You can choose not to answer questions you’re uncomfortable with and can always ask why a question is relevant. Honesty helps provide the best care, but your boundaries matter.
Can I take notes or record the appointment?
Yes. Taking notes or recording (with your provider’s permission) can help you remember instructions and review information later.
Who should I see if my primary doctor can’t help?
Your provider can refer you to specialists like an OB-GYN, urologist, pelvic floor therapist, sex therapist, or mental health professional, depending on your needs.
What if I feel dismissed or disrespected?
You have the right to respectful care. Speak up during your visit, report issues to a patient advocate, or consider switching providers if necessary.
How can I prepare for the appointment?
Make a list of symptoms, questions, and goals, and note lifestyle factors like sleep, diet, or stress that may affect sexual and reproductive health.
Conclusion
Talking to a healthcare professional about sexual and reproductive health can feel intimidating, but it is an important step in taking care of your overall well-being. By preparing questions, being honest about your experiences, and knowing your rights to respectful care, you empower yourself to receive the support and treatment you need. Remember, these conversations are normal, and healthcare providers are trained to guide you without judgment. Don’t hesitate to follow up, seek clarification, or consult a specialist if necessary.